Second Season: Build Up and Let Downs

        Last cross season was my first season as a competitive racer. (Well, as a racer period.) I fell in love. Cyclocross was the most amazing sport I had encountered. I came in with no experience, zero race knowledge and little to no ability in handling and skills. But I caught on quickly and used some crazy motivation to fight thru some of the biggest packs even Oregon Cycling had ever seen.

            I started as a beginner and ended the season going strong into Cat B. You could certainly chalk that up into a phenomenal feat.

            So what to do with season 2? I joined up with Tensegrity’s team, and got myself outfitted in a kit. I took up mountain biking to improve handling skills, and begrudgingly spent time on the road to build up endurance and time in the saddle. All this was done to prep myself for cross. If I could do that well in season with no prep, what could I do with months of training?

            Unfortunately, at the very beginning of July I got sick. It hard and fast and I had no idea what it was. A trip to Urgent Care revealed Mono. The Dr’s orders: 6 weeks off the bike and to prepare for possibly months of fatigue…. WHAT!! I had just been diagnosed a cyclist nightmare!

            While laid up on the couch I went back and forth between kissing the upcoming cross season good bye (and hopefully giving it Mono, too), and mustering dogged determination to make the biggest come back anyone had ever seen. The mental tug of war ate up a lot of mental strength and I was slowly defeating myself before I had even gotten back out on a bike. It was dark times for me. I don’t do well if I can’t take out stress and anxiety on a good hard work out. I stayed off the bike for 3 weeks before getting too antsy to stay away. I started practicing with Richard who was heading up weekly work-outs for the team. It was mostly drills and handling and what not; refamiliarizing ourselves with our cross bikes, a very vital step in the strong bond that takes place between rider and bike through the course of the season.

            I was actually feeling good, and dare I say optimistic about the season… Until interval training started a couple weeks later. I saw just how far behind I had fallen. What was worse, I couldn’t build. My body fatigued and fell apart every time I pushed, and recovering during the work out meant fully getting off my bike to gather myself. Defeated was more than what was going on physically and mentally.

            Having to work so hard has totally changed my ideas of biking, racing and in the end, self-confidence. I’m pushing myself hard, harder than I had to in the past, and am having to keep pushing while seeing little result. The mental battle might be more grueling than the physical. All the while remembering to take rest days. Don’t push too hard during each work out because I don’t have the ability to physically recover like I used to. “Like I used to”…. None of this training has been the same as I used to do. Athletically most things come natural, I coach pretty easily (when my stubbornness doesn’t get in the way) and my best tool, was unlimited amounts of energy, to dig deep and push when most fall off the back.

            I went ahead and entered a mountain bike short track race that is hosted up in Salem. It’s only a 30 min race, so I knew I couldn’t get that crushed. And I didn’t, but it shined that ever glaring light on how dismal my stamina is. I still left with upset feelings, and a continuing loss of hope at the season ahead. Against what I wanted, I gave myself a rest day but decided to keep on going with work-outs. I shortened my intervals to keep from beating myself down, but to keep building the elusive fitness I know is somewhere.             

            No matter where I end up this season I know Mono has been a pivotal mark that will forever change my mind set and training strategies for future seasons. As many times as I have gotten upset about my digression, there continues to be small break-thrus to help me persevere, and to step back and see the glass as half full. Everyone knows racing is as much a mental game as it is physical endurance. I’ll take this year as “mental training” really hard mental training. And I am certain there will be more let downs. Perhaps a lot more let downs. But I also have full faith this is all continuing in a positive forward progression. Slowly but surely, it is progress. And besides, as the Blazers are famously known for saying, “Next Season.”